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Through My Eye's

Through My Eye's

Author: Kasia Yoko
Date: 2012-11-15
10-11-12 was the day that the sun came out and finally we all had a glimpse of the magnificent summer season's potential. Incidentally it was also the day of my birthday. The weather could not have been more perfect, as the fairways and greens opened up for us at Simbithi Country Club's Golf Course; I took one long deep breath of the new season and felt ecstatic.

There are many moments in my life that are engraved in my memory and that I will carry to my grave. One of those moments took place on Saturday night when my father came to celebrate my birthday with me.

He came dressed like a Lord wearing a cheeky smile on his face. He moved real close and whispered to my ear, "Here, I have a very special gift for you." He reached inside his blazer, pulled out his wallet and took out a passport size photograph. He handed me the tiny photo and said, "I give you this so one day you can show your grandchildren who your father was."

As he passed me the photo it seemed as though time slowed and stood still. It was a photo of my father and I taken many years ago. I tried to remember the day we went to have that photo taken but could not locate that file in my memory bank. Then all of a sudden my mind swirled and I saw myself sitting on a rocker, old and grey with little child on my lap and that photograph in my hand.

It was all so surreal so intensely sad and lonely, not at all where I wanted to be or what I wanted to feel on this birthday. I cannot imagine my life without the guiding hand of my father, imagining my life in an easy chair fifty years from now is the saddest image I could conjure up.

My father's gift to me this birthday was one of the most precious presents I have every received. It made me realise that every moment counts and life is so intensely fleeting. Looking at the two of us in that photo - there is just no denying how connected we are and to think that one day he will no longer be present is totally unbearable.

After wallowing in self-pity I slowly came to the realisation that this was not what my Father had intended with his gift. The massage filtered through to my mind that this was an inspirational gift. The meaning I began to see was the motivation to make the short time we have to spend with each other count. Make every moment worthwhile, filled with love, hope and joy. As my friend Harald always says, "Life is too short to drink cheap wine."