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Through My Eyes

Through My Eyes

Author: Kasia Yoko
Date: 2019-10-31

"A true companion is loving all the time and is a brother who is born in times of distress." Proverbs 17:17


My mother always told me that it is rare to find a true, lifelong friends. If you find one or two people you can call true friends, you are richly blessed and that is the gospel truth. A recent study published in the scientific journal, Plos One, analysed surveys from 600 students in Israel, Europe, and the U.S. to try and determine how many of their friends were actually their friends, that is, how many of their relationships were mutual. The findings of the study will almost definitely depress you. As it turns out, approximately half of your friends consider you a friend. That's right: If you believe you have about 20 friends, you probably only have 10. One frightening theory indicates that most people are either secretly jealous of you and would love nothing more than to see you fail. We all have a number of lifelong acquaintances, many whom could take us or leave us, so it could be important to know who they are. It brings me to a quote by Lee Lacocca, which goes something like, "My father always used to say that when you die, if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life." It's so very true. Many times I refer to people as my Facebook friends, which does not necessarily mean that they are my real life friends, because ever more often, I find that I have never met them in person. However we chat on social media, 'like' each others stuff, and sometimes even meet socially at various functions.The illusion of having a thousand 'great friends' on Facebook, runs the risk of making for very shallow relationships. Getting to know someone and spending time with someone requires a much greater investment of one's time, time that we're often not willing or able to give. Social Media is a great tool that can be used to build solid connections with people. The problem is, that's usually not what ends up happening 99% of the time. People forgot how to properly interact with one another and instead started using FB as a way to show off and impress people in order to get validation via likes and comments. The line between fake and real just became even more blurred.The truth is that most people only have a handful of close friends whom they can count on and vice versa. All the rest is just fluff and friendly acquaintances. My dad often said that you can count your true friends on one hand. If you have one or two people you can call a true friend you are indeed blessed, ''Remember'' he use to say, ''To gain a true friend, you must be a true friend.'' That's why family is so important. Legacies of love and kindness are far more important than fake attention, fake friends, and fake commitments. Money can buy a lot of things, unfortunately love and kindness are not in the mix. Friendship that flows from the spirit, offers mutual benefits and genuine concern for each other. It's something that grows beyond a platonic level, to something spiritual, the Greek philosophies have the term Phillia, a form of love but like in a friend zone. Unfortunately, true friendship of mutual understanding and care for each other is hard to find. What is common is friendship in which one party plays the role of a fool, without being foolish. My husband always says, if you want to see who your real friends are, just stop calling them, see if they call you back. Nine out of ten people don't call you unless they want something from you. True friends on the other hand will always check up on you, mainly because they care about you and they want to make sure that you're ok. If you want friends, be a friend. I know on paper it's a losing bargain, but finding one true friend is worth all the cost.