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Through My Eyes

Through My Eyes

Author: Kaisa Yoko
Date: 2015-08-07
I wish I knew how to begin writing this.

I've actually stopped and started over and over again.

How do you find the right words?

The hard truth is that there will never be the right words.

This is not something that can be packaged up into a bow.

There's nothing beautiful, nothing serene.

Yet every bit of it is screaming of a need to find hope.

A need to find peace.

My mom often tells me that when she prays she tries not to tell God what she wants but rather asks God not to give her burdens that she knows that she cannot carry. In the next breath, she asks God to look after her family.

In the last few weeks tragedy struck people I know. They have lost their children. My heart literally exploded into tiny little pieces when I heard about these heart wrenching tragedies.I wish none of us had to lose our children and the futures that are lost with them.

My heart literally exploded into little tiny pieces when I heard about these senseless tragedies.I wish none of us had to lose our children and the futures that are gone with them.

I guess, for me that would be the most tragic thing to have happen. Death is so final, so brutally absolute and so intensely concluding.

When I think of loosing one of my children, I can see my own demise. I do believe with my whole heart that no parent should witness their child's death - I do believe that there should be some kind of celestial order in which we leave this life, and parents should be the first to go.

Grief has a mind of it's own at times. It can rest aside, then awake and remind us of all the beauty that once was. I can't ever say 'I feel your pain' because how could anyone ever feel the pain of a mother's loss? It's impossible.

I like to think that in heaven there is complete and perfect peace, the sort of peace that we as humans down on earth cannot understand. We cannot 'wrap our brains' around that eternal peace. In heaven there are no more fears, there is no more crying, and there are no more tears.

I guess realising how important it is to make the most of all the little moments together is a big lesson. We do not know God's plan, we never know what each new day will bring us, all we can do is love as much as we can, spend time with those we love, and share beautiful memories of those we were honoured to have the moments with, and we have to try and take comfort knowing that we will see them again!

This is one column where I cannot give any advice. Rest in peace Lukas and Chelsy, you touched our lives so beautifully and while you were here, sharing your life with us, it was beautiful.