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I'm Not Ok

I'm Not Ok

Author: Saya Pitham
Date: 2021-08-25



I'm looking outside my window and it's another unseasonably cold and drizzly day on the North Coast, and the weather mirrors my dark mood. Moments ago, yet another friendÕs relative passed awayÉnot from Covid but because my friend and other members of the family were quarantining after testing positive, they were unable to see this relative before his untimely passing. It really is the people left behind, not getting closure, doing the right thing by staying at home and self-isolating, or not being able to travel because they live overseas, whom are left in a state of shock and dull, pounding sadness of unspoken final words of love, of unsaid farewells, of missed final kisses and hugs and that basic human NEED of touch and contact, that makes my heart ache for everyone who has experienced separation, then loss of a loved one during this time.


It doesn't make it any better that my friends and I founded IÕm Not Okay, after experiencing my own loss of a parent that I wasn't able to see because they live far away. International travel became impossible first because of travel restrictions, then because my own children contracted Covid over Christmas. For so many of us, it has been a season of one crappy thing after another: sickness, staying away from loved ones because "it's the right thing to do", death, lack of closure, then seeing this sad scenario replicated amongst friends, school and office shutdowns, and the list goes on. I try to stay upbeat and emotionally 'solid' for my friends who are going through what I went through earlier this year, and for my own family who are all coming out of ANOTHER round of being covid positive and house-arrest.


Ballito-based psychologist Ciara Korving wrote last month: What we are experiencing is prolonged trauma, mixed with a multitude of emotions. And trauma is a far subtler concept than many of us realise. It is about events and their effect on the mind, both psychologically and physiologically - altering the neurochemicals and giving you that sense of "hyper-vigilance" while your body goes into 'survival' mode. We usually only stay in this mode for a short period of time, until the immediate threat has passed. Unfortunately, for many of us it has been prolonged, not allowing the body to re-set itself to a normal state of balance and equilibrium.


I end with saying: Rest In Peace Mr. Yusuf Mahomed (Baboo Kallan). You welcomed me, a complete stranger, into your house with open arms as if I was family. I loved seeing all the things you made with your own hands around the house, and will always remember your lesson to See beyond petty religious and racial differences and rather to embrace the Humanity in every individual. You will be greatly missed by all who were lucky enough to know you, and you leave a great legacy in your children and extended family.