Whatshot
Through my eyes
Through my eyes
Date: 2017-08-31
According to the Optimus Foundation Study, South Africa, three children are killed every day in South Africa. According to the Medical Research Council, a woman dies at the hands of her intimate partner every eight hours.
During Women's Month and in the context of such extraordinarily high levels of violence against women and children in South Africa we needed to relook at the way we support one another.
We all have one person whom we know is being abused by her partner, and often many of us say nothing. Her excuses, her attempts at hiding the bruising and her reasons why she puts up with it are all falling on deaf ears, as her friends stop believing her bullshit.
I am really lucky to have been spared domestic violence; there was never any abuse in my family home. There was a lot of shouting and screaming and maybe a few plate throwing and door slamming episodes, but besides a few emotional outbursts we came out unscathed. Untouched by this evil.
And therefore I do not understand how some people, because it is not just the women that suffer abuse at the hands of their spouse, men are abused too because there are some vicious witches out there.
So why do people stay in an abusive relationship Oh there are numerous reasons; some believe that they deserve it, while some think that they would not survive on their own. There are all the lies, the pretence and the denial.
My observation is that the scariest part of being part of a domestic abuse relationship is the idea that you cannot escape and you cannot get help, that feeling of being stuck.
Domestic violence can be so easy for people to ignore, as it often happens without any witnesses and it is sometimes easier not to get involved. Yet, by publicly speaking out against domestic violence, together we can challenge attitudes towards violence in the home and show that domestic violence is a crime and not merely unacceptable.
Sexual, racial, gender violence and other forms of discrimination and violence in a culture cannot be eliminated without changing the culture.
Lets not forget emotional abuse, this form of abuse is not physical in nature. It can include everything from verbal abuse to the silent treatment, domination to subtle manipulation.
So lets remember, domestic violence is any behaviour involving physical, psychological, emotional, sexual or verbal abuse. It is any form of aggression intended to hurt, damage, or kill an intimate person.
If you are suffering and are experiencing domestic abuse, please know that you can walk away. Life is too short to allow someone to mistreat you. Walk away from any form of abuse and believe that you can rebuild your life and find happiness again. And if you need help you have only to ask for it. If you put up your hand you will be amazed at how much support there is, there are organisations and individuals who will show you the path to emotional freedom. You can try the National counselling line: 0861-322-322 or visit https://www.lifeline.org.za for more information.
And hey if you are in pain, know that I am lighting a candle for you tonight, hoping that you will be touched by the Divine light of hope.