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Through my eyes

Through my eyes

Author: Kasia Yoko
Date: 2016-08-26
Sorry I wrote this article

Oh it has been one of those weeks. Days that are just all consuming. Events that are energy draining. And situations that are just bizarre. Not wanting to create more drama, I am the first one to apologise and walk away.

Have you ever stopped to notice all the apologies that are coming out of our mouths throughout the day? Granted, there are legitimate reasons behind some of them: spilled red wine on your best friend's dress or forgot to drop my friends house keys for two days. However, in many instances, "sorry" is just a word flying out into the universe before we can truly assess its necessity or genuine nature. So why are we so comfortable with making useless apologies? And what do we do about it?

The way I see it, fear is to blame. In the case of apologies, fear of rejection is the invisible force that takes control of our voice, before we can even think about the necessity of saying sorry. Apologetic words become our defence to avoid a chance of not being liked or of not being accepted.

This week it was all about reflections. The question I needed to answer is how can I start to curb my enthusiasm for constant remorse?

This is what I came up with:

Become aware of all the apologies you offer throughout the day. No need to do anything different in the beginning, just start noticing and counting. At night, when you're examining newly formed or imaginary wrinkles in the bathroom mirror, take a pause and ask yourself an honest question: were all of those "sorry's" necessary?

Go ahead and continue to question yourself: am I really sorry, or am I just saying it because (a) I don't want to seem rude; (b) That's what women are supposed to say; or (c) He is going to leave me!

What really motivates you to be so damn sorry all the time?

Are all these reasons real or imaginary products of your fear?

And how do you catch your overused "sorry" before it ever leaves your mouth?

Find your inner courage to remain silent for a brief moment. Make sure your apology is coming from the right place. Let it be born out of genuine care and generosity.

Lastly, most of the people who receive our automatic "sorry's" do not remember them at all. For them our apologies become white noise without any value. To this I say, let's save the words for the moments when "sorry" is the only word that truly matters or the hardest one to say.

Let us honour ourselves by becoming courageous and owning our intentions. Remember, you are of great value and so are your words. Use them wisely for the empowerment of self and others.

I have been through some storms lately but calm seas don't make a sailor. Best wishes to everyone!