Whatshot
Legal Talk
Legal Talk
Date: 2018-09-28
What is Parental Alienation
Sometimes a divorce can be so acrimonious that it descends into using the child in the war against the other parent by manipulating the child to hate the other parent. This is where the parent actively brainwashes the child and encourage the child to reject and emotionally distance himself or herself away from the other parent. Eventually causing the child to hate the other parent. The consequences of this conduct are tragic and heart-breaking, not just for the parent who is reviled by the child but also for the child who is being manipulated by the other parent. Psychologists call it "parental alienation".
According to Professor Edward Kruk, from the University of British Colombia, who specializes in child and family policy, he says "parental alienation" involves the "programming" of a child by one parent to denigrate the other "targeted" parent, to undermine and interfere with the child's relationship with that parent. The other parent is demonized and seen as evil.
Parental alienation is seen as a serious mental condition as it's based on a false belief that the alienated parent is a dangerous and unworthy parent. Kruk says that hatred is not an emotion that comes naturally to a child and has to be taught. Thus a parent who would teach a child to hate or fear the other parent represents a grave and persistent danger to the mental and emotional health of that child.
Some of the things which fall under the category of parental alienation include persistent belittling of the other parent, refusing or limiting contact with that parent and that parent's family or extended family, removing all evidence of the other parent from the life and mind of the child, forcing the child to reject the other parent, creating the impression that the other parent is dangerous, forcing the child to choose between the parents by means of threats of withdrawal of affection.
This type of alienation can sometimes extend to grandparents, after a divorce. Kruk says that the tactics of alienating parents are tantamount to extreme psychological maltreatment of children. It affects the child's self-esteem and could extend to self-hatred, lack of trust or depression. Substance abuse is another common consequence as well as other forms of addiction.
Prof Kruk says every child has a fundamental right and need for an unthreatened and loving relationship with both parents, and to be denied that right by one parent, without sufficient justification such as abuse or neglect, is in itself a form of child abuse. Since it is the child who is being violated by a parent's alienating behaviours, it is the child who is being alienated from the other parent.
Needless to say parental alienation by one parent against the other, violates both the Children's Act 38 of 2005 as well as the Constitution of South Africa Act. It goes against the principle of "the best interests of the child". If children are victims of such manipulation by a parent, then it's crucial that this be brought to the court's attention. In this way the toxic nature and effect of parental alienation can be made known and appropriate measures can be put in place by the court.
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