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Through My Eyes

Through My Eyes

Author: Kasia Yoko
Date: 2014-10-24
"Regrets collect like old friends. Here to relive your darkest moments. I can see no way, I can see no way. And all of the ghouls come out to play and every demon wants his pound of flesh. But I like to keep some things to myself. I like to keep my issues drawn. It's always darkest before the dawn. And I've been a fool and I've been blind. I can never leave the past behind. I can see no way, I can see no way. I'm always dragging that horse around. Our love is pastured, such a mournful sound. Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground. So I like to keep my issues drawn. But it's always darkest before the dawn

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa. Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa. And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back. So shake him off, oh whoa" Last week while returning from a meeting that surprisingly peeved me off. I had a choice to head to the closest bar and drown my sorrows or go for a long drive and think about my life options. I settled for the latter.

Suddenly the strong voice of Florence & The Machine came on the radio and "Shake It Out" started to blare out of the speakers. Beautifully sweet and crystal clear voice of Florence Welch started to flow out of the speakers and into my veins.

It was not long before I was consumed by the sound of darkest despair. I drove and sang - if you can call it singing - so hard and loud that my sinuses were hurtingit felt as if I had an ice cream headache when I returned home that evening. Thanks to Florence I managed to scream out my frustration and the calm returned. It was fair to say that I managed to win the battle but sadly I lost the war.

Let me tell you that failure frigging sucks. And don't let anyone tell you that it gets easier or that it ever stops hurting. For me failure feels like drowning in a black ocean, and no matter how hard I try I cannot see any light at the surface. It's a point of complete darkness and I do not know the way to the surface.

But somewhere out of the darkness a ray of hope appears and then, as if by a miracle, it does not matter, nothing matters, the only thing that matters is the next breath I take and I remember an ancient Japanese proverb, "Fall seven times, get up eight."

There will always be people, some may even call themselves your friends, who will try to rob you of your powersteal your magicdeprive you of your charms and reduce you to a babbling zombie but just remember, "Authentic happiness isn't something we can go out and get, buy, beg, borrow or steal, it's only something we can be, and it's a choice we make with every breath we take." - Dennis Meritt Jones