WHAT'S THE ISSUE?

Let's start in Ukraine, where the world appears to be waking up, groggily, to what many of us suspected from the first standing ovation. Four and a half years, billions in borrowed weaponry and a mountain of dead conscripts later, Volodymyr Zelensky's presidency has become the most expensive one-man show in history. Even Donald Trump, a connoisseur of costly productions, now calls him an obstacle to peace.

Yet, for the first time in years, there is something resembling hope. A local ceasefire has taken hold in occupied Oleshky so aid can finally reach its stranded residents, and both sides are pencilling in talks in Abu Dhabi next month. It is a glimmer, not a sunrise, but for ordinary Ukrainians and Russians feeding this meat grinder with their sons, a glimmer is a miracle.

Then there is the other atrocity we humans have allowed. This month, Israel's own army chief, Eyal Zamir, reportedly refused to play pawn in Benjamin Netanyahu's pre-election chess game, resisting a push for fresh military action against Iran and demanding the order in writing. Imagine that. A general asking for a signature before starting a war. Somewhere, a lawyer wept with joy.

Israelis went to the polls this week with Gadi Eisenkot, another former army chief, running neck and neck with Likud. Whatever the count, the world is daring to hope that a nation exhausted by war might choose a leader more interested in governing than in staying out of court.

That same hope crosses the Atlantic. America votes in its midterms on 3 November, and Trump has generously promised not to bomb Iran before then, which is rather like a burglar promising not to rob you until after the neighbourhood watch meeting. Eight months into this war, with the Strait of Hormuz still choked, much of the planet is holding thumbs that voters interrupt the warpath and let sanity sneak back in.

Speaking of sanity, we have our own shortages at home. The Presidency has lost its clean audit over R1.7 million spent on groceries, which must have been some braai. National Treasury found 4,323 suspicious individuals on the state payroll, ghost employees presumably clocking in from the same afterlife as our service delivery. In Moretele, the municipality pays R15 million a month for water its residents never receive, a business model Eskom must envy.

Meanwhile, 5,000 rural schools wait for Starlink internet while government insists on 30% black ownership first, our Finance Minister dangles a dreamy R6.55 a litre petrol cut, and tourists at Cape Town airport are paying R25,000 for a fake Uber. Even our crooks have embraced the private sector.

Here in KwaZulu-Natal, as I write, the weather service has issued a Level 2 warning for thunderstorms, lightning and hail. I found it the most comforting headline all month. Out there, generals need signatures, presidents need groceries and peace needs an election calendar. Everyone else simply bombs first and explains later. Only the weather still has the decency to warn us before it strikes.