Whatshot
Through my eyes
Through my eyes
Date: 2018-09-21
"In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present." By Sir Francis Bacon
How many of us are bogged down and feeling drained If you're like me you are probably experiencing the overload of chaos. The noise levels are climbing around me as the space is closing in.
Last Friday I experienced some kind of melt down, it was not the wrist slitting type but it was pretty bizarre and volatile; I wanted be by myself for a while and to taste the peace and quiet and solitude long enough to find out how good they really are...I wanted something more than just privacy in the geographical sense.
And for the first time I wanted to be able to live exactly as I chose, obedient to no necessities but those imposed by wind and night and cold, and to no man's laws but my own.
Unlike sound, which crashes against our ears, silence is subtle. The more and longer you are silent, the more you hear the tiny noises within the silence, so that silence itself is always slipping away like a timid wild animal.
And so I listened to the silence, and I listened to myself.
Before long my emotions also swelled into monumental waves of feeling - floods of tears, giggles, excitement or anxiety, often entirely disproportionate to the occasion. It felt normal. These were not new or inexplicable feelings; they were the old ones felt more strongly.
Someone said to me, "You shouldn't think about it." Someone else advised me to, "Don't let it affect you." While another astute advice saying, "What are you stressing about F@ck it!"
I did not want to take anyone's advice. I wanted to feel whatever it was and analyse it and understand exactly what I was dealing with. So many people become desensitised to feelings and emotions because they are able to remove themselves from real sensations. I did not want to do that
Silence resists attempts to explain it. Indeed, ineffability it is one of the key tests of mystical experience.
So I retreated into silence for 48 hours; and in the stillness of my mind something clicked, suddenly it was not me and the space in between, but a kind of oneness: as though the molecules and atoms I am made of had reunited themselves with the molecules and atoms that the rest of the world is made of. It was very brief, but I cannot remember feeling that extraordinary sense of connectedness since I was a small child.
Occasionally we need to quiet our souls and switch off the volume. We need to disconnect and unplug and we need to allow ourselves to feelfeel the disappointment, feel the anger, feel the loss and understand that silenceis undoubtedly golden andgoodfor our health, and our souls.