Whatshot
Through my eyes
Through my eyes
Date: 2018-07-20
This week I celebrate the awesome achievements of a dear friend who is marking three years of sobriety. I have watched his battle from a distance and I have felt the struggle and but I have also seen his greatness and his bravery and his resilience.
He has showed me that the road to recovery is like a bumpy 4x4 track through the Sahara desert in a 'skorokoro' with the fuel tank running out and the water supply in reserve. I know how tough it has been for him and everyone that takes this road.
I know that some days, you feel like flying, like everything is soft and warm and the nights are long without being sad. Some nights you wake up with so much lightness, with wings growing out of your back, with your fingers touching the stars from your bedroom window.
Other days, however, you wake up wanting to die again. Everything is a struggle. You'll lock yourself away, feel the weight of the entire world sink into your skin. These days, you'll sit in silence in rooms full of noise, feel your chest tighten while your friends make fun of how quiet you have become, how you never say a thing.
These days, you tell them you're tired. You tell them you have other plans. You won't tell them about the burn in your chest, how breathing becomes a burden. How soft death looks, how often you think of walking onto busy streets in rush hour.
Addiction is not a sign of weakness nor is it selfish or an act of cowardice. It is simply the result of an illness that no one seems to acknowledge. It is hard to understand unless you have gone through it yourself.
If you have any loved ones or know anyone going through this battle, please be patient and compassionate. Understand that they are struggling with something you may know nothing about. The sad truth is, some of the strong, happy, adventurous people you least likely might think, may just be battling with addiction.
If you are going through recovery right now, I know it's an uphill battle, but there is always hope. Always remember that you are worthy and you matter. Help is always available and you are never alone.
Know that these days will pass. One day, you'll wake up feeling light again, feel the stars at the tips of your fingers. One day, you'll forget what all that weight felt like, what thinking of death felt like. One day at a time. One step at a time. Just for today.
Sending love and light to all those on the road to recovery.