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Through My Eyes

Through My Eyes

Author: Kasia Yoko
Date: 2013-05-23
This one is for all my fellow smokers. I guess as I am writing this I cringe,, because being a smoker today is almost as bad as being some despicable drug addict. Smokers are such a misunderstood breed and it is fair to say only a smoker would understand why anybody would want to light up.

A couple of days ago I received a sad sms from my mother who was spending some quality time with her sickly sister in a health spa in Poland. I could see the pain in my mother's words as she recalls how difficult my aunt's life has become in the last few years.

At seventy-eight years old, she has difficulty breathing, moving and performing basic functions. She walks bent over and can no longer lie down to go to sleep; she sleeps in an upright position. She is being moved around with the help of a wheelchair and her memory has gone. One thing that she has not forgotten is where the smoking section of the health spa is, and my dear aunty is happiest sitting in this designated space, puffing on her rollups.

I always loved that about my aunt. She never cared what anybody said. Twenty years ago she was diagnosed with breast cancer and after double mastectomy, she was a survivor. She did not smoke less during her cancer treatment and in fact for as long as I know my aunt she chain-smoked, hence my addiction. She is my godmother and in my culture there is a saying that you follow in your godmother's footsteps.

So nobody was very surprised when at the tender age of six I was caught puffing on menthol slims - everyone just blamed my sweet aunt. I am not proud of my habit and have been known to quit many times in my long smoking career. Each time I quit the odds are becoming harder and the willpower becomes weaker.

This time my mother's plea made me stop, just like that. After reading her sms, I lit up the last cigarette in my pack and that was that. Her words choked me up and I just saw what she was trying to tell me; her sms read, "I will not be alive to see you when you old and I thank the Lord for that but to imagine my beautiful daughter consumed by this horrible addiction breaks my heart and when I think that one day you too will end up lusting after just one thing - a cigarette - I am devastated. Please try to stop, not for me, not for anyone but for the possibility to have a dignified old age. You can do it!"

And so a week later I am almost through the worst. Keeping myself busy, keeping my brain occupied, and realising that it is really so flippen easy. There is no cold turkey, no panic attacks, and no tantrums - strangely when I think back I cannot remember when last I enjoyed a cigarette, I try to figure out, what was the point?

We have so little time on this earth. We know how bad smoking is for our health, whatever excuse we use to still be smoking is just a big sad story - reality is that tobacco kills up to half of its users. That's 6 million people each year, of whom more than 5 million are from direct tobacco use and more than 600 000 are nonsmokers exposed to second-hand smoke.

If this is not enough to make you stop, there are many alternatives to quit. I think what made me finally do it was the concern and love for my family. I would hate to become a burden on my loved ones and not to have the quality of life that I so desire.

Come join me, quit today